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Undercover behind enemy lines |
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Written by Auckland Warlord
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Friday, 30 July 2004 |
It's now only two weeks out from Bay of Plenty's Ranfurly Shield destiny and this Warlord's covert operation is ready to come into action. For two and a half years now I have been posing as an innocent (reasonably) University student, awaiting the day that the Bay will challenge Auckland and win the shield.
In this time I have uncovered a few secrets:
1) Aucklander's don't support Auckland rugby, this is for one of many reasons. Firstly, the arrogance surrounding the team works against them because they think the games are already secure, evidence of this is in the form only 200 people turning up to Poverty Bay's formidable challenge. Secondly, because most of the players aren't Aucklander's anyway, a-la Daniel Braid, Aucklander's have no attachment to them.
2) Auckland fears Bay of Plenty. After the Bay's dominance at Baypark (the Steampot) last year when we secured victory, Auckland became a city in fear. They have shown this over the years by stealing many of our good players (Caleb Ralph, Justin Wilson, Craig de Goldi to name a few) and by suppressing all things Bay of Plenty. Rumour has it that the offices of Mayor John Banks are looking at banning the colours blue and gold throughout the city and John 'dictator' Banks wants to remove the letters 'B' 'O' and 'P' from the alphabet, tough luck for BP service stations anyway. Mayor Banks politely declined my offer of a free mafia t-shirt but I'm sure he'll come around when we have the Shield in Tauranga.
3) Most Aucklander's are xenophobic. Anybody who reads the Herald will realise that Aucklander's don't like anything from non-Auckland places, they lead the calls for tighter immigration and the amount of dirty looks I get when I wear my hallowed BOP jersey is astounding. To combat this I have devised a plan. on August 15th, the day of destiny, everybody who comes to support the Bay has to show they are from the Bay. I predict only a small crowd of Aucklander's will come, meaning we have the chance to create a home atmosphere for our boys by coming in full blue and gold face paint, with banners, horns and the like. We want a whole crowd of Hori BOP's supporting the Bay and we should display our allegiance proudly.
Banners should be anything either supporting the Bay or insulting Auckland. Traitors should be singled out, Daniel Braid is going to see what karma is all about, but a word of warning, the security guards confiscate banners which are deemed offensive and television cameras wont film anything which is too insulting (we've found that out the hard way at numerous one day internationals), which would be detrimental to our cause of television coverage, but the TV networks lap up large groups of supporters so coverage will further push our cause.
So come on disciples of the Steamers, show your true colours and make the trip over the Bombay's to come and see history in the making, I know I'll be there and my 2 and a half years of work will come into play! |
