How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways. (I know it may be taken off one of those teen movies, but who doesn't hate Auckland? They're lucky there's only ten things)...

1) I hate the way you talked yourselves up after two big wins over second division opponents, then were so surprised when you lost to an under rated Bay of Plenty side
 

2)I hate the way that you win your second game of the season and all of a sudden in the eyes of the media you have a mathematical chance of making the semifinals.
 

3)I hate the way you boast so many "(low) impact players" (such as Sione Lauaki) and then send them to other unions or drop them from the team once they under perform for one or two games.

4)I hate the way that every rugby publication or Newspaper published north of the Bombay's neglects to mention any other teams in the NPC except you and your bonus point neighbours Harbour, making reading a valid two sided argument in print a thing of the past

5)I hate the way that every rugby journalist in the country "predicts" you will win the NPC, every damn year, and then is so surprised in seasons like this one when you yet again fail to fire.

6)I hate the way that your excuse for dismal performance in the opening rounds was an absence of your All Blacks, yet when they came back, your excuse for a dismal performance was all black fatigue.
 

7)I hate the way you think that money can buy you support from your fans. I see more people wearing Northland jerseys on queen street that your beloved blue and white hoops.

8)I hate the way you make up for a lack of a development rugby structure by opening your cheque book to players and coaches from other regions AND other countries, yet you still pretend the Blues do something good for rugby in the region, I guess you give kids in Samoa something to aspire to.
 

9)I hate the way you vehemently oppose plans to change the NPC to make a more even playing field for non super 12 franchise teams, saying it wont be good for rugby in New Zealand. Last time I looked, buying players from rugby league (e.g. Tasesa Lavea) wasn't a particularly good way to make kids want to play rugby either.

10)But most of all, I hate the way you steal our players and then use them to fill the bench on your reserve teams so you can pretend that you are that much better than everyone else in the country and believe that you have an actual depth of talent from within the Auckland region, and then you wonder why so many people hate Auckland rugby.

With much love,
Auckland Warlord