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Written by Baron Silas Greenback
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Tuesday, 22 September 2009 |
 I am starting a Phil Burleigh fan club. (PBFC)
I have never been in a fan club before because they are for sad twats with no life... but ignoring that unfortunate consequence.. I am starting a fan club.
As the founder, I am allowed to make the rules of the club. They are..
1/ No forwards are allowed, they smell funny, dont know how to gel hair and think group hugs are cool... plus they never bring good looking chicks to parties. Forwards can only ever be associate members, never full members.
2/ No member must ever actually want to meet Phil, or the Philster as he shall be named. We are an aloof fan club and think being in a fan club is a naff thing to do, we also dont understand the contradiction of this situation.
3/ Due to rule 2 if we ever see the Philster in public, we shall not acknowledge his presence in any way, we wont even make it obvious that we recognise him in any way, we shall just tug our left earlobe in silent acknowledgement, clearly this contradicts the previous claim that we wont acknowledge him in any way .. but screw it I make the rules so sod off.
4/ When the Philster scores a try all fan club members will tug our left ear lobe.
5/ Members who lose their left ear lobe in a tragic accident will be banned from the fan club immediately.
6/ Even though a fan club with membership of 1 is technically a stalker, I am not a stalker as I have zero interest in the Phislters personal life, I dont ever really want to meet the Philster and besides... stalking is such a time sink.
7/ The founder of PBFC can change the rules any time he likes.
The executive (me) of the PBFC will meet weekly and discuss issues totally unrelated to the Philster. In the coming years when the Philster gains his rightful AB 12 jersey, we will simply smugly nod to ourselves... and make a milo.
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