According to BOP MAFIA spokesperson Donsteppa, the dangerous bacteria Streptococcus Madeupicus has been found to be affecting all wood based products in the vicinity. “We have reluctantly placed a retrospective quarantine on the area backdated till 2:30pm on Sunday 5^th September. All wood based products must be returned immediately to help contain the outbreak and to avoid further affecting the health of the current holders.

When asked if this also affected the Ranfurly Shield recently taken from its rightful home at Blue Chip Stadium, Donsteppa paused thoughtfully before replying “Why yes, I hadn’t thought of that! While it’ll be hard on a classy Canterbury side we’ll have to get onto it right away!”