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Hori BOP – Your Worst NightMayor
Written by a campaigning Kiwipie   
Friday, 10 September 2004

As you may know, the Godfather of the BoP Mafia, the esteemed Hori BOP, is standing for mayor in Tauranga. When he is elected, he will replace the council with the BoP Mafia so we are very very keen for him to win.

Last Monday evening, the day after the Bay of Plenty Shield was illegally removed from the province by a band of marauders controlled by “Mad-Eye” Mehrtens with his wicked assistant “Bonus” Honiss, there was the mayoral debate at Baycourt. I went along to observe proceedings and of the 300 people there, I was one of the youngest and I am no spring chicken! I really had no idea how the debate would pan out and neither did the audience.

 

When Hori strode to the podium to make his opening address, I could sense the tension – would it be a typical Hori rant? “You’re in trouble, Tauranga, you’re in trouble. I’m going to take over this town, increase taxes on old people and give free pies to all Steamers fans”. But no, a kinder, gentler Hori emerged, a man in touch with the people, a man you can trust to lead Tauranga into the future. He based his vision on the Shadbolt/Invercargill model. By this I mean he saw himself as the figurehead for the region, a populist uniting factions behind him and raising the prominence of Tauranga throughout the country.

 

After the opening addresses, we moved onto a Q & A session and Hori was not only getting most of the laughs (that was expected) but also the applause as well. Now you may say I’m biased and I probably am, so here is the BOP Times report on the occasion.

 

http://www.mytown.co.nz/story/mytstorydisplay.cfm?storyID=3589669&thecity=bayofplenty&thepage=news&type=nzh

 

As this link may disappear in time, I will quote from the article.
 

There were solemn utterances, carefully considered answers and noble phrases _ and then there was Hori Bop.The outrageous Bay of Plenty Steamers fan and former mascot was in full regalia and single-handedly turned last night's Bay of Plenty Times Mayoral Debate into showtime.

 

His rollicking off-the-cuff humour and home-spun philosophies, delivered from the stage of Baycourt, won over the audience and a surprisingly large number of their votes.Hori Bop took 14 per cent of the votes cast by the audience as they filed out of the theatre at the end of the debate _ more than Bill Faulkner (13 per cent) and not far behind Murray Guy (19 per cent) and Stuart Crosby (21 per cent).

However, the top polling contender, taking a third of the vote, was Mayor Jan Beange (33 per cent).

 

About 300 people attended the Bay of Plenty Times and Radio Network sponsored debate to hear the visions of those wanting to lead the city. Raewyn Weller was unable to attend because of work commitments. Hori Bop's show-stealing almost overwhelmed the occasion and he vowed that if he was elected he would do a Tim Shadbolt on Tauranga and thrust it into national prominence.

 

Barred from the sideline in Sunday's shield-losing match to Canterbury, he declared sadly: ``If Hori was on the field they would not have lost but I was not allowed to be.''

 

Hori could have done even better with the vote if he had distributed the tickets that were still in his pocket come debate time. You can be sure the other candidates would have made sure their tickets went to their own people for 10 guaranteed votes. So despite this, Hori still managed 14% so 40 people took the trouble to vote for him.

 

Certainly by the end of the night, the audience was looking forward to Hori’s responses to questions, as they were a welcome relief from the turgid fare offered by the other candidates. None of the older people in the audience were offended by him either!

 

So now the campaigning will begin for Hori BOP and the Party Tauranga Party backed by the BOP Mafia. I imagine we will sit in the pub, have a few bright ideas, not action any of them and then troop off to the rugby ……… and remember the Mafia tradition come polling day, “Vote Early, Vote Often”.

 
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