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In a parallel universe, Josh Hohneck wouldn't worry about a bit of rain and mud.
In fact, the Steamers prop would probably be up to his ears in it, deep in the heart of spring calving in Waiuku, if his professional rugby career hadn't taken off.
But the 24-year-old will get another farming flashback tonight in New Plymouth, with another miserable forecast for Bay of Plenty's ITM Cup match with Taranaki.
That should play right into the craggy hands of the home pack and Hohneck is under no illusions.
"Their game has always been based around pretty hard forward play," Hohneck said. "They've got a solid tight five - it's nothing real special - but they're going to come at us and we've just got to man up. The boys will be up for it and it should be a good watch."
If it does pour again, at least the Steamers will have immediate experience. Their 11-6 loss to Auckland at Baypark last week was played in some of the ugliest conditions in recent memory.
But it wasn't the driving rain which stung most - it was the way Auckland's tight-five manhandled their opponents for most of the game. Hohneck, a pig-hunting, beard-boasting throwback, addressed that with refreshing honesty.
"None of us really showed up to play on Saturday and they were clearly better than us. They were just more organised and up for it. We let all our little things slip and you can't do that at this level. " Our timing wasn't right, we weren't working well with the ref and nothing seemed to go well for us. You start battling and starting to scrummage on your own, because you're trying to keep your side up. You end up working as individuals and then the whole ship falls apart."
Steamers coach Sean Horan reacted as expected, piling the players on to Mount Maunganui's Main Beach on Monday and thrashing them soundly.
But then he surprised on Wednesday, naming the same 22 for the second week in a row, putting the acid back on his players to pick their performance up.
It means James McGougan gets his second start of the season at tighthead prop, leaving Hohneck - who played 10 games for Waikato before moving over the hill at the start of last year - again in the relatively unfamiliar loosehead spot.
Then again, the whole front row is still pretty new to him, having only moved there after making the Waikato Colts side.
"I was going to be tall until I hit 14, then I stopped and blew out to 115kg. The writing was on the wall - I tried to hang on to No8 for as long as I could but prop finally got me when I was 21.
"Since then, I've slowed down a bit and gotten used to seeing a bit less ball.
"It's all still a learning curve for me, especially seeing as all my propping has been at tighthead until this year, but it keeps you fresh and challenged."
Hohneck's brother, Sean, is a former Waikato and Chiefs lock, while cousin Zac left Rotoiti this year to join Waikato.
Other Waiuku stars include All Black first-five Stephen Donald and Black Sticks hockey player Blair Hopping and Hohneck admits there's still an allure to the small Counties town.
"There's not much to do there but play rugby, go fishing and drink Lion Red. Most of my mates from school are still there doing exactly that.
"Farming's what I would have been doing if I'd stayed at home. It's good not having to get up until 9am to go to training instead - although I can't seem to sleep in past 6am most days anyway. I love the farm and the land so I may look at going back to it when rugby's finished."
In-form Taranaki winger Andre Taylor, meanwhile, has been ruled out of tonight's match with an injured hamstring.
His absence highlights Taranaki's lack of depth at wing, with back-up fullback Scott Ireland still nursing a broken thumb, while utility back Willie Rickards is recovering from glandular fever.
Midfielder Isaia Tuifua will replace Taylor, with no specialist outside backs on the bench.
Adding to the home side's problems has been the withdrawal of bruising flanker Jarrad Hoeata, also with a hamstring injury.
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