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MAFIA TEES
Just $20 a shirt, a steal!
Not often you steal from the Mafia and live to tell the tale...
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BOP Mafia - An Offer You Can't Refuse |
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Written by Jamie Troughton (appeared in Rugby News)
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Sunday, 01 January 2006 |
Nestled behind a computer terminal somewhere in London is a large, grumpy toad with crazed ambitions to make Bay of Plenty rugby a global and galaxial superpower.
The Ranfurly Shield would be nice and another NPC title all well and good, but Baron Silas Greenback would love to see the Steamers set their sights a little higher.
World domination for starters.
It’s just the sort of attitude you’d expect from a crazed super-villain (he’s cartoon-character Danger Mouse’s nemesis, in case you were wondering) but unfortunately for the rest of the world, the Baron is not operating alone.
There’s an emerging golf professional in Dubai, a wacky Irishman in Melbourne, a teacher in Japan and a business analyst in Sydney.
Scattered throughout New Zealand are doctors, lawyers, tradesmen and an enormous pie-eating larrikin all with Bay of Plenty tattooed on their hearts.
The sole thread tying this reckless rabble together is membership to the Bay of Plenty Mafia. It’s a shadowy group that has risen with the success of the Steamers over the last few years, growing louder and prouder as membership numbers swell.
But here’s the catch – this ain’t no ordinary supporters club. There are no Mafia clubrooms under the stands at Mount Maunganui’s Blue Chip Stadium or Rotorua’s International Stadium.
There are no bright blazers or walls stacked with memorabilia. When the Mafia meet, they do so online – when they talk of past deeds and where they were when the Steamers took the Shield, they do so with keyboards and not leaning on some sweaty bar nursing a beer.
The whole Mafia concept was launched off a tangent on New Zealand’s largest online rugby forum, The Silver Fern (www.thesilverfern.com).
And that’s where the Baron and his cohorts come in. Armed with only his wit and an evil, though entirely virtual, death-ray, the Baron spends hours on the forum battling for provincial superiority with hordes of other rugby fans.
And of course, just in case you haven’t figured it out yet, the Baron is the alter ego of a relatively normal bloke. Todd Morris, who grew up in Tauranga, picked the Baron because he was the best villain on TV when he was growing up.
"He had the meanest, coolest, kick-ass sidekicks, my personal favourite being Mad Manuel the Flamenco Assassin," Morris said. "How can you go wrong with henchman like that? He kicked that wowsy Danger Mouse all over the show."
By day, Morris works as an IT contractor in London, though the lines between work and the manic Baron adventures are often blurred.
"I like contracting as I get plenty of time off. And during work hours no one really monitors what I do, just what I produce. So as the long as the work gets done, it’s no problem. Although once the IT director did mention my high internet usage, so I just excluded my login from the internet monitoring tool. Problem solved!"
Like their Sicilian cousins, the Mafia has a distinct hierarchy. They are led by clandestine underworld figures Donsteppa and Kiwi Pie, although unofficial Steamers mascot Hori BOP is their rather ample figurehead.
Appropriately enough, the first organised outing for the Mafia was when six supporters, who met on the Silver Fern website, turned up to watch Bay of Plenty beat Italy in 2003.
Last year’s Shield success helped enormously with recruitment, and at last count there were more than 750 members, notably including ex-representative players Kramer Ronaki, Glen Remnant, Dave Dillon and Glen Jackson.
It’s meant they’ve had to set up their own website – www.bopmafia.com – which has grown to include their own media releases and a complete range of Mafia clothing.
Media hungry and outlandish, the Mafia have pulled some memorable stunts, like enlisting a real-life Leprechaun to help them win the Shield last year.
Fanatical parochialism is a must. Hatred of all things Waikato is also handy.
"I actually coined the phrase ‘Dirty Scumbag Waikato’ after DSW stole Liam Messam off us a couple of years back," Morris admits, not without some pride. "Ferret Foster is also one of my phrases."
The Baron’s exchanges with ‘Willie the Waiter’ and fellow Waikato fan ‘Hooroo’ were even nominated for an annual ‘TSF Award.’
Across the ditch, former Mount Maunganui man Mike Udy is another Mafia original, though he’s better known on the Silver Fern site as Bay Imports.
Udy is at a loss to explain why Bay of Plenty supporters have taken to the Mafia concept with such gusto.
"Possibly because we haven’t always been top of the heap, so feel our team needs more support than some of the larger provinces, possibly because we are mad, I really have no idea," Udy says.
"I discovered the Fern while looking for information for my Fantasy Rugby team and I found the forum a good place to unload my theories of BOP world domination on a whole unsuspecting world of rugby followers. Like an AA support group, I found other long time sufferers/BOP fanatics lurking on the same site.
"The Mafia was then established, and it was generally guilt by association and I still love it. Have I told you that Glen Jackson should have been first-five for the All Blacks?… Oh? Another time?"
Udy made the trip across for last week’s Ranfurly Shield challenge, but otherwise his Sydney base prevents him from catching his side live more than once a year.
But ever since the Steamers made it back into the first division in 2001, he’s got a tape sent over every week of the latest NPC match. He also tunes in to live internet radio broadcasts every time Bay have a Friday night or Sunday afternoon game.
Jason Bartley is used to such fanaticism. In fact, it’s his bread and butter. Well, the jam on top anyway.
Bartley, a former Thames Valley hooker, started The Silver Fern site in 1999 as an extension of his internet graphics business in Whangamata, and has seen it become one of the more respected rugby forums on the planet.
"It never fails to amuse and surprise me how deep some provincial loyalties lie," Bartley – AKA Bartman – said. "But that’s what the site is all about – it’s the chance to vent your spleen without getting into a pub brawl, the chance to offer an opinion and throw it to the four winds to see if you’re on the mark or not.
"The Mafia are certainly pretty vocal on the site, but there are pockets of Waikato supporters, one-eyed Cantabs, mad Manawatu men and even the odd Nelson Bays supporters who routinely match them in the passion stakes. It’s great to sit back and watch."
Be warned though. According to the Baron, ‘you ain’t seen nothing yet.’ Amongst his plans for global domination is an attack at the very heart of Britain.
His wife, you see, happens to work as a production accountant on a UK TV show. The pair have already been infiltrating the costume department. Don’t be surprised to see a BOP Mafia teeshirt pop up on The Bill or even Coro Street sometime in the future.
You have been warned.
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Steamers 2008 |
| : Air New Zealand Cup |
| 31 July: Tasman WON 8-7 |
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| 30 Aug: Wellington Away |
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